I'm telling you straight up and up front, I'm feeling a little crabby today.
I caught the
Unresolved Controversies Fatigue Syndrome (UCFS) yesterday and it will take an undetermined number of days and/or uber-duber newborn baby fresh news headlines to juice me back up to the trademark (and I say this with cheerful irony)
sunny-sardonic disposition you've all come to know and love (no backtalk please).
Until then, you can take your sack of sunnies, mister, and stuff it where the sun don't [censored, rhymes with "mine'].
I'll make do just fine with sardonic. Sardonic is a
fine companion. Sardonic doesn't give a hoot how you are or what you ate for lunch or what you did at school today. I swear, if anybody so much as wishes me, "Have a nice day!" while I'm out sick with UCFS, I will plummet to
supercilious-scornful. Be careful, don't push me. There are only so many steps to tumble down before the basement door knocks open and I'm stewing in a dank pool of
vitriol.
Now, what were we talking about? Ah, yes, India, politics, controversies, yada yada,
yawn.
So, crabby-ola crown on (not to be confused with a crown of crab
bolas), when I read that
2010 Commonwealth Games chief organizer and chief didn't-we-
Delhi-people-always-know-he-was-super-shady guy,
suspended Congressman and CBI catch
Suresh Kalmadi became a
slipper-hurling honoree yesterday, I felt rather underwhelmed.
Throwing slippers at evil politicians is so
first decade. It's not even
new or
exciting or
profitable in India anymore. Click on that 'exciting'
BBC link. It's a cute little video segment on Indian villagers taking target practice classes to perfect their shoe hurling aim.
I move to recommend a change of insult device. How about instead of the shoes on your feet, you rip off the watch on your arm? The older and heavier, the better. (I'm too sick to corroborate my aerodynamics knowledge with
NASA. You do it.)
What do you need your watch for? I haven't seen anybody check their watch to tell the time since 1998 {
urban} 2000-present {
rural}.
We could always go retro and just bring a fruit. Don't forget, the popular tomato is a fruit too, rotting or not. I'm not so sick that I need to corroborate that.
No link for you! Next!