Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Throwing shoes at evil politicians is so first decade

I'm telling you straight up and up front, I'm feeling a little crabby today.

I caught the Unresolved Controversies Fatigue Syndrome (UCFS) yesterday and it will take an undetermined number of days and/or uber-duber newborn baby fresh news headlines to juice me back up to the trademark (and I say this with cheerful irony) sunny-sardonic disposition you've all come to know and love (no backtalk please).

Until then, you can take your sack of sunnies, mister, and stuff it where the sun don't [censored, rhymes with "mine'].

I'll make do just fine with sardonic.  Sardonic is a fine companion.  Sardonic doesn't give a hoot how you are or what you ate for lunch or what you did at school today.  I swear, if anybody so much as wishes me, "Have a nice day!" while I'm out sick with UCFS, I will plummet to supercilious-scornful.  Be careful, don't push me.  There are only so many steps to tumble down before the basement door knocks open and I'm stewing in a dank pool of vitriol.

Now, what were we talking about?  Ah, yes, India, politics, controversies, yada yada, yawn.

So, crabby-ola crown on (not to be confused with a crown of crab bolas), when I read that 2010 Commonwealth Games chief organizer and chief didn't-we-Delhi-people-always-know-he-was-super-shady guy, suspended Congressman and CBI catch Suresh Kalmadi became a slipper-hurling honoree yesterday, I felt rather underwhelmed.

Throwing shoes at evil politicians may be old news but Muntadar al-Zaidi is still a global hero.
Source: Binside

Throwing slippers at evil politicians is so first decade.  It's not even new or exciting or profitable in India anymore.  Click on that 'exciting' BBC link.  It's a cute little video segment on Indian villagers taking target practice classes to perfect their shoe hurling aim. 
I move to recommend a change of insult device.  How about instead of the shoes on your feet, you rip off the watch on your arm?  The older and heavier, the better.  (I'm too sick to corroborate my aerodynamics knowledge with NASA. You do it.)

What do you need your watch for?  I haven't seen anybody check their watch to tell the time since 1998 {urban} 2000-present {rural}.

We could always go retro and just bring a fruit.  Don't forget, the popular tomato is a fruit too, rotting or not.  I'm not so sick that I need to corroborate that.  No link for you!  Next!


Mitasha said...

hahaha...yap watch is a good idea...:)...and absolutely agree no one sees watch now days...use only to show what are the brands they can afford...and this CWG itself is such big scam...National Pride...i dont believe people think that making some stadiums represent national pride when we cant even afford to feed the whole nation ...incredible India...!!!

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